What helps when teachers ‘check in’ with students?
For World Mental Health Day, I’ve been thinking about how teachers and school staff often use a ‘check-in’ approach to support vulnerable students. It’s a way of proactively making a connection, providing them with a space with a familiar trusted adult to talk, maybe problem solve or simply (but importantly) help them feel known and seen.
But what does this look like when it’s done well?
Here are 5 key important ‘check in’ principles to keep in mind
1. Be child-centred
Being child-centred (or person-centred) is to notice the other person and meet them where they are at. Notice their body language/facial expression as well as words. Ask open questions and give time and space for them to respond. If they are quiet or distant, allow that and notice it with them. Try to tune into the feelings around it and don’t rush to fix. Emotionally attune and use phrases such as ‘I notice that’ or ‘I wonder if’ rather than ‘You’re x today’ which allows for us to be corrected.
2. Show positive regard
We all have a life ‘story’. It’s not always obvious or easy to keep a child or young person’s ‘story’ in mind when we see behaviour and it’s not always fully knowable either. Children and young people don’t often think about it for themselves as it may be blocked from memory, as we see in trauma, or just not talked about or reflected on. True positive regard is needed to genuinely connect and show care towards someone because behaviour happens for a reason. When we do, we promote self-compassion, easy anxiety and support regulation.
3. Create space
Consider where check-in conversations take place and negotiate this ahead of time with the child or young person. Consider their comfort levels because sitting in a quiet space may work for one child but it could cause anxiety for another. If you are in a counselling room, given them a place closest to the door so they feel able to leave. Consider doing a shared activity while you talk to take the pressure off and reduce the need to make eye contact.
4. Listen well
Take time to listen actively, with your full attention. Reflect on what’s being said and gently ask questions to help your understanding. Give validation by accepting their feelings and thoughts as true for them and normalise where possible without minimising how difficult or worrying something feels.
5. End well
At the end of the conversation, jointly think about and share ‘what next’. It could be that you decide to check in again, take some agreed action or think more about what has been said. Provide reassurance that they have been heard and understood and check they know where they must go next (e.g. a lesson or break).
Finding time to slow down, be present and check-in may seem small, but when done well, it can make a huge difference.
Sally Baron, Educational Psychologist
10th October 2024